Who knew that the biggest suckers on Earth were conservatives? Obama (if you believe those same conservatives.)

Posted: March 8, 2012 in News, Politics
Ah yes… The latest excuse making for Rush Limbaugh as seen espoused by Eric Bolling and others on Fox News, read on conservative blogs all across the information superhighway, heard on talk radio programs ranging for the local boys all the way up to Rush himself and parroted by Joe Average conservatives in conversations both face to face and electronic is that the Sandra Fluke situation was all an Obama/Democrat plot to discredit Rush and/or distract everyone from the failing economy.
The first problem with that is that, despite the constant pushing of the talking point by the right, the economy isn’t failing right now. It’s actually getting better and has been for a little while now. So it would be a bit dense of Obama and the Democrats to distract people from the improving economy because that would allow the talking point on the right to supplant reality in the minds of many.
The second problem… well… It’s not really a problem. At least it’s not for the Left that is. The conservative talkers, bloggers and defenders might have a problem with it if they gave it two second of thought though. You see, for this to have been a master plan by Obama and/or the Dems, it would mean that some of the biggest names on the right are some of the biggest idiots on God’s green Earth.
The general spin coming out is that Sandra Fluke was a plant. She was sent to Georgetown to become a student agitator there and be at the ready to be plucked from there to launch Operation Economic Distraction when Obama needed it most. She was then placed into the position of testifying before Congress on the issue of contraception to spring the trap and create the national flap that we’ve had. The combined goals to be, again, distract from the economy, discredit Rush before a major election and maybe hurt Rush’s radio career.
Do any of these morons realize how big a group of morons they’re making themselves look? They’re pinning their grand conspiracy theory on the idea that Sandra Fluke was planted at Georgetown three full years before the controversy of the last week. That’s right, Obama and the Democrats planted this girl at Georgetown as soon as Obama took office! And that means that they had to have her apply before he was even elected! What geniuses! What amazing forethought that they had! What idiot thinks this is even slightly logical or realistic?!? Well, actually, we’re seeing the answer to that right now.
But it gets better!
You see, Obama and the Dems were so smart and so swift on the political maneuvering game that they even knew what Republican Darrell Issa would do in 2012 back in 2008! See, apparently, for this idiotic conspiracy theory to work, Obama and the Dems would have to have predicted not only the general actions of the Republicans, but what the specific actions of Darrell Issa would be. See, it was Darrell Issa who lead the republican charge last month against aspects of health care reform by holding a hearing entitled “Lines Crossed: Separation of Church and State. Has the Obama Administration Trampled on Freedom of Religion and Freedom of Conscience?” as a nice little dog and pony show for the base. It was during this dog and pony show that Sandra Fluke, Obama/Democratic plant Sandra Fluke, first became known to the media. You see, she was set to testify before the all male panel at the hearing and, just as Obama and the Dems anticipated three to four years ago, Issa and the Republicans decided that no women would testify on behalf of women’s issues at their hearing.
And at that moment, Issa fell into the trap set for him three to four years earlier.
You see, that made Sandra Fluke the sympathetic woman who was bullied by the all male, Republican panel. So that opened the door for the Dems to give her a microphone in a smaller hearing that they set up. And of course, it was covered far and wide by every news channel and every television station. Well, actually, no it wasn’t. It actually pretty much came and went and almost nobody but the political wanks paid the testimony any real attention. But Obama and the Dems, knowing that this would happen all those years ago, had one more part of their master conspiracy to spring on the Republicans and propel Operation Economic Distraction into the mainstream. Yes, that’s right, they set up to be their big fall guy the self professed owner of “talent on loan from God” who has many times boasted of the fact that he knows the liberals like the back of his hand or every square inch of his body and can play them like a fiddle.
That’s right, they set up Rush Limbaugh himself. Despite Rush’s recent proclamation that he knows what’s right and wrong and would never have used the language and tactics of the other side since that’s against his core values, core beliefs and masterful intelligence, this woman that no one had heard of before and who was planted years ago with masterful strategy and forethought made El Rushbo blindly and foolishly stumble into a big, nasty, steel-fanged bear trap.
Yup, you guessed it. Obama, the puppet master extraordinaire and schemer supreme, put Sandra Fluke into the public spotlight by pulling the wool over Rush’s eyes and then booting him in the rear with a laugh and a grin.
You see, for the conspiracy to work, Obama and the Dems had to know that Rush would not leave this barely a blip on the national radar testimony alone. They would have had to have known that Rush would pull it out into the forefront of the American debate by spending three days telling lies and slandering this woman. Yes, they knew, knew over three to four years ago mind you, that when they finally unveiled operative Sandra Fluke to discuss the medical treatment uses of contraception and the fact that Georgetown required students to get insurance without contraceptive coverage from Georgetown while Georgetown employees do have contraceptive coverage that Rush would act exactly as he did last week. Yes, they knew that Rush would lie about what Fluke discussed, misrepresent everything that she was saying, call her vulgar names like slut, prostitute and round-heeled, insult the female students at Georgetown, offer to compromise so long as women recorded their sex acts and put them online for him to watch, offer to buy them all as much aspirin as they needed to put between their knees and to generally make enough crass, clueless and vulgar comments to create a national backlash against him and dominate the media for a week. And Obama and the Dems knew, even back then, that Rush would trip over himself and make it worse by issuing a half-assed apology that was hollow and pointless. They also knew that they could count on Fox News personalities not even employed by Fox News when this plan was hatched to make vulgar and clueless comments on the air about the price of condoms and loose women having too much sex. And they knew that the professional conservative blogosphere would quickly fall in line and repeat the same lies, smears and slanders that Rush initiated on his show.
That’s right conservatives, you, if you want to push this idiotic conspiracy theory as fact, got played. And you got played big time. Yes, Eric Bolling, Michelle Malkin, Fox News and the rest, Rush Limbaugh himself and all the Joe Average conservatives out there all got played like a fiddle by Obama and the Dems and played so well and so easily that you were played by a plan hatched over three or four years ago. Yes, that’s how stupid you are and easy to dupe. Obama, the master manipulator, put the dominos in place all that time ago and made each of them and all of you fall in line, tumble down and do exactly what he wanted and needed you to do almost four full years after placing that first domino, Sandra Fluke.
I ask you, are you really that stupid? Well, yeah, you kind of are. But, really, do you think that everyone else is so stupid that they’ll believe you when you try to push a conspiracy that far fetched and that insanely stupid to excuse the fact that you couldn’t stop yourselves from spending most of the last week attacking a woman in the most vulgar and despicable ways? You’re asking everyone else to believe that Obama and the Dems planned this girl’s time at Georgetown since before he took office. You’re asking everyone else to believe that Obama and the Dems knew that Issa would not only put together a ridiculous dog and pony show hearing, but deny the opportunity to Sandra Fluke to give her prepared testimony. You’re asking us to believe that Obama and the Dems somehow manipulated Rush Limbaugh into speaking and acting on the air for three solid days in a manner that he and you swear he would never have had it not been for this plot. You’re asking us all to believe that Obama and the Dems knew that Rush, Fox News and the conservative blogosphere would take someone that no one was talking about and propel her into the national spotlight in such a manner as to take everyone’s attention away from everything else and create a “fake” backlash against Rush and the conservative movement.
Seriously? You really think that everyone out there is dumb enough to buy that?
Look, stop trying to push this supposed conspiracy, guys. Just admit that you saw a chance to act like crude, vulgar jackasses and you jumped at the chance to actually be crude, vulgar jackasses. Because, really, there’s no way you come out of this looking good. You’re either so predictable and gullible that Obama can play you for massive fools with barely any effort or you’re so stupid that you think everyone else is as stupid as you are and will believe this garbage you’re now pushing. I mean, at this point we all know from the last week that, yeah, at least some of you are pretty much stupid as hell, but just how additionally stupid to you really want to continue to make yourself look?
Of course, if you’re one of the faithful few who still clings to this as a genuine fact and believes that this woman was a plant and this was all a plot by Obama and the Dems and are now confused as to how this could possibly have been pulled off… There is one possibility that you may not have considered. Obama and the Dems didn’t predict Issa and Limbaugh’s actions and missteps, they coordinated them as a part of the conspiracy. Coordinated them? Yeah, that’s right, the only answer left is that they coordinated them because…
Issa and Rush were in on it all along.
Hey, it’s no dumber than what you’re already trying to get everyone to swallow now.

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