What… The… Hell…

Posted: May 10, 2008 in Life

   Ok, we all know what a troll is when talking web speak. Some trolls are dumb, some are smart but dense as hell when it comes to grasping simple concepts and some others just want to be the biggest @$$ that they can be. But some… Some need a Troll Hall of Fame. And, no, this isn’t about our favorite visitor from that strange place known as Planet M.

   I’ve been playing on some sci-fi and horror boards and looking some stuff up. Some of the boards were little; one man run sites with only ten to twenty posters like this one, while others were major sites like IMDB. While pinging and ponging around the sci-fi boards, especially those devoted to discussions about the new Battlestar Galactica, I found someone who is quite possibly the single most sad, pathetic and relentless troll to ever grace the net. He has a handful of names that he uses for when he’s been banned from a board under his preferred name, but his primary handle is spiderr987.

   He was blitzing the IMDB Battlestar boards under the name GINOsuks for quite a little while now. The name being what he’s all about. Galactica IN Name Only sucks in his opinion. He loves the original series and can’t stand the new series, hates Ron Moore and hates the people running the Sci-Fi Channel. And he’s been saying that non-stop for almost five years now.

   I’m sure you’re asking yourself why that merits mention. There are things that we all don’t like and have said so for far longer than five years. Well, you would have had to see this guy in action. spiderr987, or just spider from here on out, is mental.

   Do you want to see something scary? Google spiderr987 (note the two r’s) some time. You’ll get pages of hits. And something like 90% of the hits are of spider posting the same seven to ten copy and paste screeds against the new series, Ron Moore, Bonnie Hammer, etc. on dozens upon dozens of sites dating back to the start of the new Galactica. 9% of the hits are of people talking about him and how they’ve had to delete entire threads that he created that were just endless repeats of his copy and paste posts. Now, that leaves us 1%. What’s the 1% that’s out there? Well, that’s the thing that makes him even odder.

   You can find a tiny handful of posts out there where he’s actually talking positively about the original Galactica. Why this is odd is because he claims to be a huge fan of the old show and his hatred of the new show is based on it not being true to that show and scuttling the continuation series/movies that have long been rumored to be in the shopping around stage. He claims to greatly love the original series (TOS from now on) and thinks Glen Larson is a genius.  But he has only a handful of posts talking positively about that. And, the kicker there is that they only talk about the fact that he likes the show. They don’t actually have him discussing the show itself outside of him saying that he liked it.

   Even on IMDB, where they have a board for both shows, he seemed to never engage anyone on the TOS boards in conversation about TOS. He’s  never posted on that board so much as once. But every day without fail he would hit the new Galactica’s board, usually three or four times a day, and post two or three times over his copy and paste garbage.

   Another poster on the IMDB boards mentioned that spider had been around and getting banned from sites for years now and suggested that anyone with a bored moment and looking for a laugh or two do what I suggested above and Google spiderr987. I did and the results, as I’ve partly listed above, were… Interesting?

   He has spammed boards that are pro-new Galactica for years now, he’s started a failed myspace group dedicated to slagging on the new Galactica and on the Sci-Fi channel and, and this is funny as hell, he’s picked fights with fans of TOS who like the new series because they couldn’t possibly like both and are being dishonest about liking TOS. He’s actually almost as hated by fans of TOS who’ve come across him on the web or at the odd convention as he is by most fans of the new show and he’s gotten himself banned from pro-TOS sites. He can’t even seem to enjoy something not Galactica related without his hatred of the new series creeping into things. One IMDB poster linked a review he wrote for the new Knight Rider series where he spoke well of that for about one paragraph. The rest of the review was complaining that Sci-Fi and Ron Moore should have done Galactica etc., etc., etc.

   Now, when I first came across him trolling some boards, I had the image of a kid, now somewhere between 18 and 22, with way too much time on his hands who was watching TOS on the Sci-Fi channel when the channel was starting up and steamed about the continuation projects falling apart. Nope. According to bloggers who know him in real life and the odd bloggers who have met him at conventions… The guy is closing in on 40.

   Now, you’re probably wondering why I’ve devoted an entire post to this guy. Well, I haven’t really. I’ve devoted it to what makes him tick. We’ve all seen trolls who pop up and just act stupid. We’ve all seen trolls who go to a movie or TV board and talk trash about a movie or its fans for a while. But trolls like that have an expiration date on them. The movie is hot, they visit the site, they get bored and then they bug off and pester someone else. The ones pestering most TV boards only do it while the show is getting some heavy buzz as well. They also mostly get bored after a bit and bug off. We’ve all seen the refugee from Planet M, but he doesn’t seem to have a crusade as much as a genuine defect with interacting with people. But this spider fellow…

   What the hell drives an almost 40 year old man to spend every day of his life for almost five years trolling multiple boards, multiple times each day, just to express hate for a TV show and almost never spend any time discussing the show he claims to love? And, and this is a real kicker, when he rarely posts something other than his pre-written, copy and paste posts, he makes it clear that he’s watching the show to more accurately criticize it and the plot points that he says Moore has no talent for.

   There are some signs of his really being a bit mental. Part of why he claims he does what he’s doing is to counter the stealth marketers. He’s amongst the part of TOS fandom that believes that most of the buzz and hype about the show is from paid staffers who have five to ten accounts on every website to talk up each episode and brainwash people into believing the show is good. Awards are all one by these stealth marketers flooding voting links or from Moore and crew bribing people like The Peabody voting board. He is, in his own words, countering the false buzz created by the GINO stealth marketer and the money people at NBC/Universal.

   But still, what the hell drives someone like that? I’ve come to accept that the web just allows the very rude to be even more so because they no longer have to look anyone in the face when being an @$$, but some things still blow my mind. But guys like this are just beyond my ability to truly wrap my head around. What is it about the web that acts like a magnet for the lowest of the low and what in the hell would make someone spend that much of his life being bitter, sad and pathetic on the web when they could be using that time to discuss the things they enjoy with like minded people or, even better, be out doing something fun in real life?

   Seriously, what the hell?!?

  1. Sean says:

    Ironically enough, I just read an article in the paper about all the rude people out there and how text-messaging someone while talking to someone else is the very HEIGHT of rudeness. Personally, I’ve always found getting Melvined while having your face spray-painted fuschia and being sprayed with a squirt bottle of dog pee slightly ruder, but what do I know?

    Unfortunately, the ignore them and they go away tactic doesn’t seem to work with most of these guys. For some, too, it seems like the internet was created for one giant complainfest, and they want to be in too, but they don’t have anything to complain about so it makes them feel important to stir things up.

  2. Micha says:

    This is Jerry’s week of internet crazies.

    Remember the Star Trek TNG chapter in which DR. Moriarty tried to get out of the holodeck? Remember how he was defeated? Somebody should create a program that will trap persistent trolls in a kind of artificial intelligence that will continue automatically arguing with them forever.

  3. jjchandler says:

    Guys, it’s not the rudeness or the arguing that gets me and this guy wasn’t really one of my crazies. The thing that got me was just trying to work out what drives a person to do this. The more that was revealed about this guy and what he does, the more it almost became an academic fascination with me.

    What makes someone who seems to be fairly normal in so many other ways go on a almost five year long jihad against a TV show and its fans? What’s wrong with a person’s mind that they would spend that much of their life devoted to something they hate rather than fighting for something that they claim they want or enjoy?

    I’m used to rude on the net and I’m used to nutters like Mike (Hi, Mike. We all know you’re reading this since you’re posting links to the site. You’re an idiot. Get a life.) and Jeffy. I fully expect jackasses when I look at something on IMDB. But this guy is a whole other creature. It just blew my mind seeing some of the links that others had to his garbage and to how many hits he gets on Google that cover nothing but Galactica and are pretty much all him doing something stupid and others flaming him for it.

  4. Sean says:

    As for what drives them, I got nothing. I’m still kinda jazzed about my animations today. I wonder if maybe they just want to see how far they can push it sometimes.

  5. Bill Myers says:

    What drives them isn’t hard to work out. It’s emptiness.

    The human mind abhors a vacuum as much as nature does. Some people lack social skills, friends, a significant other, whatever. They don’t have enough faith in themselves to strive for something outside of themselves, so they latch on to something safe, trivial, and ultimately… sad.

    Huh. At the very least, this might make an interesting character study. At the most, it could make an interesting story. I think I’ll try to write one. 🙂

  6. Bill Myers says:


    I don’t believe its WordPress, Jerry. It’s you. You’re out to get me.

  7. jjchandler says:

    Count your blessings. There are a few other blogs on wordpress with pink ones. You could have been a pink one.

  8. Micha says:

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  9. […] of my cousins just shot me an email to warn me that an old annoyance in common (discussed here – https://jjchandler.wordpress.com/2008/05/10/what-the-hell/) is still tapping away at his keyboard, still clogging up internet discussion boards and still […]

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