Archive for March 21, 2008

   Micha sent me an email linking a Yahoo story discussing the subject. Their list is pretty good and, as Micha pointed out, has a really funny pick for the last one on the list. Their picks are as follows: 

1.) 10,000 B.C.
2.) Gladiator
3.) 300
4.) The Last Samurai
5.) Apocalypto
6.) Memoirs of a Geisha
7.) Braveheart
8.) Elizabeth: The Golden Age
9.) The Patriot
10.) 2001: A Space odyssey
   Not a bad list. I do have to wonder how things like Saving Private Ryan, U-571, Pocahontas, Bonnie and Clyde or just about any western or gangster film didn’t make their list over some of their choices. Or, for that matter, how Hanger 18 (based on real events according to the opening scenes) or Wraiths of Roanoke didn’t make their goofy entry.
   But, of course, that’s one of the joys of having a blog!
   Here’s what we’re going to do:
   Give me three of four films that you feel should be on that list. It doesn’t have to be an American distortion of history and at least one has to be a goof entry.
1) King Arthur (2004)
   Billed at the time of its release as a demystified take on the tale of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table and a more historically accurate version of the legends, this movie gave us more of the same minus the good bits. Oh, and here’s a hint for Hollywood writers and ad people; Lancelot was added to the tale by a French author who felt that the story could only be perfected by the addition of the love triangle. And, of course, he made the only man who could woo a woman from Arthur and who was the greatest knight of all time a Frenchman.
   When you bill it as historically accurate or as faithful to the original legends and one of the first people you see in the ads is playing good old Lancelot… You’ve blown it.
2) JFK (1991)
   Oliver, Oliver, Oliver… We all love a little conspiracy nuttiness from time to time, but there’s a difference between doing it and overdoing it. Before the end of that thing, I was waiting for the introduction of aliens from outer space, remote controlled bullets and secret orders that have ruled man since we were the slaves of our prehistoric, lizard-man masters. Restraint can be your friend, Oliver.
3) The Last Man on Earth (1964)
   The last man on Earth? Then what the hell am I? Chopped liver?
4) Night of the Living Dead (1968 )
   No, George, it’s only the mornings that are for the living dead and it involves heavy drinking the night before. And, duh, I think I would have noticed the zombie hordes outside of my bedroom window if they were still there. There’s no conquering army of the undead out there. We’ve dealt with it George; we made ‘em productive members of society and found them jobs at K-Mart, Burger King, MSNBC and Congress. Hell South Carolina’s zombie lasted a lot longer than anybody thought he would and the one from West Virginia is still going strong.
   Undead invasion indeed.